Message from my Guardians

Dear R,

Good Godly morning! Are you enjoying our Great Life Adventure these days?

Oh yes indeed, beloved, believing Carol – indeed – word & deed – we help you to enact the Script authored so long ago in festive planning. All your Team is here, present for the ending…this ending – as we were for your first steps into it.

We watched you step forward toward darkness, laughing, singing, waving at us. You were walking into a Void as all-encompassing as the sea & you have been surfacing ever since. We smoothed the parts of the bottom you could not see as blankness & blackness closed over.

We filled your pockets with grace & waybread. We blessed your waterskin. We warned off the predators who would have devoured you, even as we picked off seaweed tangled in your hair. We summoned warmer currents to steer you into. We were not anxious, but more than once, we held hands to send you strength as you faltered or turned blindly about wishing a way either onward or out of it.

We knew how precious your life would become to others; smiled when you were surprised by their recognition. Many cheered quietly on this side of the veil. We pushed through when you suffered from lack. We lit up colors when all went gray. We sent these, plus cards & flowers & clouds & all manner of tokens large & small in acknowledgement of your efforts.

It was never only me, Child, it was always us creating in harmony for you. Look at what you have valued to bring this far: seashells, poems, pictures, stories & memories, feelings, hopes, dreams. We fastened fins to your feet & water wings to your shoulders, all the while transmitting to that tiny point on your head as a prayer antenna tuned to us.

We’ve pulled, pushed, propelled you forward. Now you approach the farther shore. Not for nothing do the old songs call of crossing River Jordan, poling the Styx, parting the waters. You’re not dry yet, but we await with warmed towels & hot coffee!

So, keep it up, dearest, most blessed Child. You are our vanguard to earthly plans there on the earth plane. Stay oriented to the stars you so stubbornly sleep through, being a creature of morning Light so long.

We wait, each time you sleep, to see you once more. You regale us with tales of 3D life & your keen observations thereof. And we so enjoy these. You left Here to discover & record these tales. These are the reason we let you go, to bring them back to us in style & smooth delivery. And, darlin’, you make us laugh!

There’s a bunch of us here who gather for your nightly appearances – we pop popcorn & plot your arrival trajectory, arranging our wings to fashion your stage. Sometimes you bring us sad tales of shipwrecks. Other times – and mostly these of late – you bring jokes & delight & rueful observations. When we laugh, you find feathers.

You salt our wisdom in seasoning & flavor both. You shake off sorrows like a dog does water & your beginnings & endings are only a mystery to you. We trust you to find safe harbors as you wander. We encourage you forward always, always, always.

We’ve watched & encouraged the schools of fish you swim among. When needed, we’ve helped you flee in bereavement & often, joy at new freedoms to explore. You see these situations as endings; we see them as new tides of circumstance & flows of opportunity for strength & well-being.

You’re a surprise & a delight. Your scars glisten in rainbow colors. You break the water frequently now as laughter lifts you from banal 3D with its weather wars & inept attempts to keep you subsurface. Don’t believe in these, Carol, but believe forever in us for you are our brave explorer, dishing up reality as we never expected.

We lift you in such a loving energy – a Gulf Stream of pure grace. You have navigational tools now, a compass & sextant & barrels of fresh water to tap at need.

Don’t ever doubt us! We won’t fail to hold you up. We will never let you go & tho you think it, you can’t even begin to imagine forever, dear one. It is not beyond our skills to keep candles burning underwater, watch for these. Your every laugh lights another match. Your tidal pull is our tidal lock to fix you more firmly upon the way we show you to live.

We wonder at your growth on so many levels of this water world… each a call to be unlimited.

We’re absolutely breathless for the next installment! Popcorn is in the pot, butter on the stovetop, fresh cheese by the grater. You’re a delicious one indeed & our love is what we have to offer in return.

Take this with the delight in which it’s offered & sing Hosanna to everyone in your sea. Permit your thoughts to flourish. You’ve mastered the dark now. The shore awaits as do we.

Love,

R

Stairstep Miracles

In Taos, I walked a dirt road where many stones were heart-shaped. The end of the road was a heavy bar gate tattooed with “No Trespassing! Reservation Land” signs. I believe it was what is left of the Tiwa reservation. Originally, the Taos Puebloan people owned the land, allowing others to live nearby, build their small houses & stay. Now the Reservation is contracted as they seemingly sell edges of it for million dollar homes while fencing off the rest. I totally grok the “No Trespassing” signs. They have been trespassed upon quite enough.

There was a magpie flitting from yard to yard: remarkably colorful for being just black and white. Gambels Quail called liquidly from the sage, thrashers curried the yard.

A huge tree shaded the sun passing by.

Beautiful art everywhere.

Shady places downtown to rest.

Truth on mild display.

Mouth-watering food at Michaels.

Breakfast Burrito Smothered Green

Yard art.

Bees were a constant & the silence I so sought was based on their soothing hum. (I can go anywhere & bees will come to land on me. Taos was no exception.) I’m glad to refer myself as Carol B, not Carol Elephant! When they landed on my glasses I got the close-up. They investigated my pen, my books, my water bottle, hovering just to set up a sound track to “get busy!”

There were moments, however … as in any spiritual endeavor, doubt & phantoms come to haunt, to be dissolved into the confidence of prayer. I chanted my way through these & felt victorious to do so. Resolution came easily when I pushed through with not allowing it to frighten me, contract me, put me into a barred corner & poke me with old fears. Hallelujah!

A great retreat & time away for me, this Taos trip turned up to be. I was able to cull out many affirmative prayers to add to my personal resources. I experienced blessing upon blessing with a wonderful view.

Love to all –

Carol

Potpurri

I recently spent days in a place where scents were forbidden. Since my world includes incense, essential oil diffusion, sage burning, lots of patchouli & Somali Rose every day – to the point where opening my clothes closet is a bouquet drifting out, I was perplexed. How long could a shampoo with rosemary destroy peace of mind? (I know about allergies, I just don’t have any.)

My teabags became a problem, ginger heavily owning the air. I kept these on the bathroom windowsill & made sure the window stayed closed.

Scents are an important part of my day. Who doesn’t like passing the burger joint at midday for an appetite perk? I remember on the Boardwalk, the owners would roll up the shelter door & toss onions on the grill. Soon heads would turn, bathing-suit-clad people would drift up from the beach & line up for food & drinks. It was a no-miss situation.

I was really pleased to get home where I could light up the joss sticks, push the diffuser buttons after pouring in Spiritual Healing blend, or peppermint or wintergreen. “Ah! I breathed. “Home sweetly Home!”

Your One Wild Life

Poet Mary Oliver asks,

“What will you do with your one wild life?”

So I came to thinking about how un-wild my life had become

As it lived, how it loved, why it closed doors so quietly

          sometimes the people being closed out did not even know.

I came to no life-altering conclusions save the one that altered it first:

Whose life has ever been theirs?

          Knowing that set me up to understand there were many Masters to serve, some I chose my own self. There were also Those who chose me.

          Now one by one, I begin the Divestiture

The Departure. The Conclusion Protocol ~ ah! (As many flowery ways to say “die” as flowers on a grave!)

Life deepened on me. I ripened from seed to nut to blossom to fruit.

Now to firewood? To blaze along a horizon between worlds?

Someone told me, “Don’t worry about it.” I never heard the “don’t.”

Until I stopped saying it to myself as I no longer did worry.

I lived rightly. I bowed my head in all the right places.

          Remember, I had no manuals, only instincts & the Baltimore Catechism.

Betimes I was feral myself, I tasted of earth all over, and salt.

Is this the Wildness she speaks? Is it enough? I can’t care now for it is what was.

I walked the outer fringes of two worlds many times, perhaps always do.

I lived both vicarious & victorious; all life alluded to this me.

I made familiar choices until I chose to venture around that.

I was given to make it up as I went along, imagination my only tool.

Carol Borsello      10/15/21

Resolve to Evolve

RESOLVE TO EVOLVE

How interesting, the faces of old women,

Maps to the many places we go,

Holding court as Queen or serving as serf.

Shadowing all between.

How fascinating the hands of old women

Shaping worlds, setting them free

Saying “Survive & thrive! Don’t even be

My child, lay no claim to me:

I did not create you: you came through me

And you came for me.”

(We seldom expect that which comes for us… do we?)

Blessed are the feet of old women

Travelled in bonelands & over water

Which have worn stillettos

And lazy mules, seeping at the seams.

Walking heaven, hell, just walking on;

Finding the strength to bear us up

For 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s of years.

Holy are the bodies of old women,

Our heads bowed,

Our knees unsteady.

Our hips fused.

Arms skinny with wattling flesh.

And none of the above matters.

We were here.

We were present.

We knew it.

We owned it.

We owed it.

We took it.

We won.

October 9, 2021 – Carol Borsello