Bring Out Your Dead

Bring Out Your Dead

 I need to love

To love myself no matter what my shape or where my stars

I love myself openly, unabashedly, I laugh out loud

I enjoy my life right now

I have found the elusive moment & somehow can

Catch it once in awhile

Ride it woo hoo!

I can return it & say thank you

I need another life –

You can have this one back.

I thought it my forever job – the one where

All the people just pour thru the door

They ask questions, they leave stuff behind

I don’t guard it unless I know them –

I just put it in the lostnfound.

The weeks roll by like spokes in the wheeling month

My bespoke time of excited change

All deflated – the balloon already cut up

Shreds gathered into cans.

No communication. I holler down the well

It echoes back – “Nothing new here either!”

Cutting loose busily, tongue caught

In the corner of my mouth

I saw away. Thought these were better scissors!

But it doesn’t matter. The right is coming toward me.

The movement into light & love is just before me

I am free from hindrance or unlove.

I do this because I love you enough to let you go

With a blessing instead of a kick.

You want to pick it apart,

Figure out my life & what I do you want so much.

You want my job? Here you are. You have it!

I’ll find my way without it for a bit.

Oh, good luck. I had my own kinda logic

But it’s like my handwriting; nobody but me understands.

You can’ understand how far ‘in’ is

When I say you’re in for it.

Time moves too fast along the things we want – the

Shoreline changes & we enjoy a moment.

The Doldrums hit, time slows down, the clock-hands

Take forever for one rotation.

We are dizzy with how it starts to smell rotten.

This is a familiar pattern: I ride it well

Accustomed to the ups & downs

I tell myself I like it – & in a way, I do.

I find my boundaries again, my spark returns

I start something new, that wants me to be around.

This where I am is judgmental: exactly what it is not to be.

But I hang onto the thorns until I cut myself down.