76 & Counting

Tossed madly from sleep’s sweet dreamlight

To pebbled shores where it hurts to walk

Returned in a heap, sodden with that ridiculous logic of

Slumber’s illogic

Stumbling sideways, a hard-shell crab tossed onto

Morning’s beach of dark-to-light

The home shore, the other life, the place where

The real is more puzzling than the dream.

Bringing faith with me, I lie, for a moment, stunned

With changing worlds. I draw myself up, blinking

In sudden sun flashed from sea

I believe in me once again, as separate

From all I rise to walk, not fly

To clothe self in this mad world,

More sodden than still, shivering with

Separation.

Superheroes only may apply

Themselves to this,

The saints all stay behind, whispering advice

On how to live when they don’t know the half of it.

= = = = =

We rub noses, dreams & me,

Wet & chilly, streaked with salts

Of life in saline blood, of electrical currents

Reassessing worth & width.

We run about, hiding behind each other

Knowing tomorrow is yesterday reconsidered.

We sneeze & move apart, foraging our quests

& questions while answers skip ahead, just beyond the pale.

= = = = =

HEALING ONE WOUND AT A TIME

Not quite ready for death’s respite

Not quite permitted full life in living color

But hedged about by quality & cause,

We lick what hurts most, long strokes of raspy tongue

The cleansing salt, softening edges of scar,

We straighten up, ignoring pain, mistrust,

We trust the loss & betrayal to bring us somehow to joy

To existential trust

In a system based on malfeasance alone.

Yes, we are crazy & crazed with the smells of life

That which causes us to grow beyond the worst of it.

= = = = =

SHE VISITS

Padding up from behind

I don’t always feel her coming.

She throws a casual arm around my shoulders

For a moment I nestle there

In that sweet hollow next her heart

So richly beating.

Some days she blends with me, we share  the cape of Knowledge

Ironed in understanding.

Some days she covers my eyes & takes me into her spaces

Crowded with life, with love, with pulsing ever-afters realized.

Some days she drags me into chaos, the crowd, the market of

Rotten decay, handing me money, urging me to street food.

Some days find soft meadows rimmed by trees.

These are my favorites.

The days she touches my forehead & pushes me into

Stark reality are harsh

I make my way alone, unwed & stumbling through

Tomorrows all starting again.

= = = = =

WALK ON

I do this all the time, my Warrior before, behind, below

Winking from the path

No longer slowing me down

With caution, no longer testing the air for enemies

Retracting her claws, allowing me safe passage

Through safer lands rendered still by her presence

Just within, shining from my skin.

Some days are all challenge while some are all belonging.

My step does not falter: I am the Journey

Both me & anti-me fumbling fabric for the water flask.

= = = = =

The faraway roads once beckoned

Now I wear out the path between here & there

In no seeming rush except for what is inside pulling,

With no outward drama, dreamed by softer beings

Who work with surface only

Not knowing the turmoil of an unsettled heart.

= = = = =

Love tapped me awake

Spirit woke instead,

Taking the proffered hand

We had our tickets punched at check-out

We grabbed some water

And headed out, grinning

= = = = =