I heard you yesterday when you said your sense of hearing is diminishing. The sense of isolation comes with that, of distance as the world retreats to a hum of a murmur instead of a vibrant soundscape, tho likely you hear in ranges, maybe birdsong but not conversation. I am sure this is a severe life change. Yet all is somehow to be made to work to good in our worlds. And in this temporal, fleeting, strangely difficult & beautiful place, man flourishes & suffers both immense beauty with understanding & suffering without. I feel for you as tides shift & retreat & the gold coasts of full function come in & out of view.
At older ages much comes clearer even when vision doesn’t physically allow this. Entropy, not syntropy, happens when we shift our attention. As children the vividness & clamor, the shooting stars of hope with the fading of heaven when worldly interventions push in between inner & outer layers comprise reality. Our imaginations are so central to function, even what others say is distorted when lined up against our childish reality where wishes come true, become those horses we ride on out upon despite the old rhymes of denial. Doubt becomes a debt; setting out upon that sea is to find self a long ways from shore almost immediately. And there, with no place to put down our questing roots, we float upon a surface so tenuous we cannot use feet or legs to carry us forward & arms only reach so far, only bear the strength to move half the body. We recognize no longer being whole when it would be worth our lives to be so.
That’s where either Divinity kicks in or despair. Tho we dislike depending on others, we begin to understand that was the entire message: Love One Another, the corollary to which is Love Self.
Celebrate your understanding! There are more circumstances around clarity than we can handle in a loving way. Not quite comprehending our humanity we reach once again for the miracles so attendant upon youth which drifts far beyond reach. Life happened while we watched it in others rather than lived it ourselves. We settle into reduction with not quite the same fervor we welcomed earlier growth. Yet growth is the only forward motion so we struggle with the promise butting up against reality. Some retreat into promise. Most settle for what is, tho uncomfortably with much flailing against the “what is”.
Yet life is always forward. When the leaps of bodily progress become limps of decline, we adjust our thinking which is always to be unlimited. We deny God’s love for us just a we are for the mortal world’s claim we will never be enough. Of course not! How can we be immortals in this all too mortal world?
I know you recognize this although the years of denial of decline fog the view. We’ve climbed many mountains both figurative & physical. We continue to believe in our reality despite a fair ‘proof” that there is no such thing, In spirit, we know we are the realist figure God ever created, the most unlimited expression of Self [im]possibly created, cobbled together from the love of spirit & the mud of man,
Love yourself. Let go of what might have been for what is, but never release the knowing there is so much more to it all. These skinsuits wear out even as our divine essences move frontwise to lead. Continue to learn & give & open to possibility for that’s the Miracle sought so long, realized so little. Stay unlimited where it matters! Bring love to the fore & mount it as a figurehead to lead your voyage home.