A Hall of Mirrors

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Recently, I compared my life to having lived in a hall of mirrors. There were mirrors that reflected me in beauty, shining. There were mirrors that reflected me as shriveled, dulled. Then it occurred to me they were the same mirrors.

I meanwhile found a greeting card of a woman looking like an “air corpsman’ with a dragon on a hoop on her shoulder. I immediately thought of three women or more I could send this to as statements of our lives. Nurturing dragons is not easy. It is a task brought to the wiser among the women. Dragons ever call for quick thinking.

By these & other omens do I determine my days. I have taken steps to change my home & my energetic signature within it. First the rearrangements to create space. The space becomes organic & begins to grow. The next step in growing is invited in & the energy changes: boom!

So is it not with my life? Refilled over until one day, only new will serve. I am approaching this “new.” As the timelines around me collapse, my life flashes in front of me – a Tarot deck of my own dealing. I spoke elsewhere of seeing my past leap by on its own two legs as I stayed in place in the present. I spoke of doing massage in every room I’ve done massage in – most notably New Mexico & most recently, Delaware. I feel momentarily in that space as I see the room through these eyes.

What’s it gonna be, girl, dragons or mirrors? With what keen beasts will you keep company now that company is shaved away to the barest of minimums as we are trained to keep distances?

Finding the within is worthwhile. My activities of late are what once was called ‘contemplating the navel.’ It is finding the middle lands in me. I have lived from bottom & top chakras so busily. Now comes the time to go back & revisit the middles: relationships, creativity, my re-greening, all flourishing. How long ago did I abandon these to leap with my past over my present into the ever-emergent now?

I might have seen myself go past in one of those other rooms & only now be remembering it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Believing is Seeing / Seeing is Believing

People listen to my viewpoints with a kind of fascinated disbelief. Their eyes say, “Oh, come on, Carol, you don’t really believe that, do you?”  but what comes out of their mouths is: “Where do you get this information?” This said, with a peculiar emphasis which is almost threatening. I am challenging their belief system, after all.

When I suggest sites for them to  peruse to form their own ideas or opinions, they shake their heads quickly… They want for me to come up with proof of what I consider my proofs. Of course I cannot do that on my own – I’m telling them what’s been shown to me. Just because I have read that big Pharma is the most profitable business on earth, I am suspect. Because I have seen that there is research showing that computers, iPhones, Echos & other such devices are extensions of the Big Brother Spy State, where does this conversation then go if they are unwilling to watch a video about the Georgia Guidestones, or look at Q Anon posts (or their many explications), watch “Snowden,” or somehow begin to assimilate the twenty-plus years of following such info about which I speak.

I can’t possibly introduce them to all of my sources. This matches that they can’t possibly believe what I am saying. I have watched eyes glaze over for far less info-share!

Are their mainstream media sources any more reliable than my conspiracy theory ones? Thing is, how do we tell? Isn’t this the same thought processing that denies harm in the way Monsanto degrades our foods, Naval sonar testing is destroying marine life, pedophilia is being “normalized” as a disorder instead of a sickening aberration of raising children?

I understand many will not share my beliefs. I am not convincing them, nor doing otherwise than introducing the topics for consideration. To dismiss them out of hand is to simply accept that there may be dragons where the maps don’t draw any more lines. There are forces out there which will put paid to disseminating such beliefs as I have read about, thought about & developed a knowledge base around. These forces are actually paid fudge things up.

Me? I’m just your short Italian debt slave who’s had the opportunity to make a more monied lifestyle only now in later years. Even so, I don’t own a house, a car, my furniture or some of my more recently purchased clothing. I dabble occasionally in paying for food with a credit card when I don’t have the cash to stock the larder. While this is unfortunate (possibly unnecessary) & by no means different from how a large number of citizens live today, it’s the paradigm in which I live, move & have my being. And it is only my beliefs that all of this will improve into a possibility over a probability that keeps me on in that joy & peace that passes understanding.

There are those three stages of belief: 1) No way, 2) Well, maybe, 3) Of course!

Where are you?