Footfalls

Gently, so gently do I touch love

The petal of a flower

With a tendency to curl into protection

Most tenderly I offer a wish, a promise, a longing

Turned into yearning, if I gaze too long upon it.

I am firm. Resolute. I will not disturb this seedling

Except to offer the water of my prayers.

——————————–

Who knows where our perceptions may bring us?

To what tall doors opening

Into adventure or amorous murmurs?

I am familiar with this dance; the steps never leave.

I am not like her; not frail, nor sickly

I am an ocean after you have tended a mountain rill…

There are mysterious depths here, a rush of saline

A holy path to follow to fulfillment

But I see you patting love down as you would a stray kitten

While I am the panther, curled upon plateaus of rock.

When it is time, we shall meet on terms of strength

In skies filled with wind,

We will open wings & fly

Be where you need to be for now

I have our future well in hand.

 ————————

I am daydreaming about being in love. What is happening here? What am I doing? What stray magic has padded in like a cat, curling its tail around my heart?

 So much is going so well, why not? Why deprive myself of a dream when being awake might bring the same thing? why else are we placed in each other’s path, except to love & become the Beloved?

 Yet I know nothing; love drives out all knowledge. What went before is erased, a film laid over the past to be rewritten, reworked, resumed at another chord.

 Don’t listen to me. It is nothing, this tiny blossom, delicate as a wish…a sturdy mountain flower bright in color against a desert sea of sky.

 I will tell none but you & my journal of this. Shh. Like oiling the tin man, this nourishes my heart. Unfolding an origami uncovers all the wrinkles; new patterns display, thoughts of never knowing this again are smoothed away. How does this happen except as a miracle patterned upon the sacred in life?

 There is nothing here but a whisper about to become a song…a melody drawing a bow across heartstrings long bundled in silk.

 O Lord.

Carol

 

 

 

Guardians of My Galaxy

A morning letter & reply…to my guardian angel. “He” got some good lines in, I think!

Dear R,  Good Godly morning. Are you enjoying our Great Life Adventure these days?

Oh yes indeed, beloved, believing Carol. Indeed – actually, in word & deed – we all enact the script written long ago in joyous planning. All your Team is present for the ending, this ending – as we were for the first stages.

We watched you step forward towards into this darkness, laughing & singing & waving ‘buh-bye’ at us from the beach. We smoothed the parts of the path you could not see, as blank-slating erased us from  your active consciousness. We watched the forgetting happen as you were born. You walked into the Void, as all-encompassing as the sea & you have been surfacing ever since.

We filled your pockets with grace, little Way-Shower! We blessed your freshwater canteen. We warned off the fish which would have devoured you, even as we picked off the seaweed tangled in your hair. We created warmer currents to “steer you by.” We weren’t anxious, tho more than once, we all held hands to send you strength if you faltered or turned blindly about wishing a way out.

We knew how precious your life would become to others. We smiled when you were surprised by their recognition & acknowledgement. We cheered noisily on our side of the Veil & shook our wings at every triumph. We pushed extra hard if you suffered from perceiving lack and sometimes it was hard to make ourselves heard. We put color in your path if it all went gray on you. We sent tokens & songs & flowers & clouds, & we kept a careful watch of your efforts at loving.

It was never only me, Child, it was always “us” creating in harmony for you. Look at what you have valued to carry with you this far: seashells & pictures, stones & memories, feelings, sweet dreams. We fastened fins to your feet & water wings to your freckled shoulders & we helped you fashion that tiny point on your head to push you through the water faster.

We’ve pulled & pushed & propelled you forward. We are so excited to see you approaching that “farther shore.” Not for nothing do the old songs call life crossing the River Jordan, boating the River Styx, parting the mighty waters… You’re not dry yet, but we are waiting with warmed towels & hot tea!

So keep it up, dearest, most blessed, you’re the Vanguard of our earthly plans in the earthly plane. Stay oriented to the stars you so stubbornly sleep through, being a creature of morning, indeed.

We wait, each time you sleep, to see you pop into our reality once more. You regale us with tales of 3D life & your keen observations thereof. And we so enjoy these. That’s the reason you agreed to go – to find new stories. Did you know? That was the reason we let you go, to bring them back to us in your ineffable style & chuckling delivery. And, darlin’, never doubt that you do make us laugh!

There’s a bunch of us here who wait for your nightly appearances. We [figuratively] prepare big bowls of popcorn & plot your arrival trajectory, folding our wings up tightly so we can all fit in the room. We set the stage & wait for your stories of shipwrecks & triumphs. Mostly of late, you bring joy & delight & rueful observations. When we laugh, you find feathers!

You season our wisdom. You shake off physical life like a dog does water, & your tales of beginnings & endings bring the Mystery up close &  personal. We trust you enough now to just let you swim around at will & encourage you forward, always, always, always.

We watched & blessed the schools of others you swim with. When needed, we’ve helped you to separate from some to both their bereavement & discovery of freedom, same as you. You see these situations as changes of tide & circumstance & eventually as a flow of new opportunities for developing strength & well-being.

You surprise us still, you’re living the rainbow. You break the surface so frequently now as laughter lifts you from weather wars & crazed scenarios seeking to keep you under. Don’t believe in these, Carol, but believe forever in us, for you are our brave explorer, diving into a reality we never suspected.

We lift you in loving energy, a Gulf Stream of bubbles of grace. You have the navigation part in hand, a clear compass & barrels of fresh water to tap for your flow.

Don’t ever doubt us. We won’t fail to hold you up. And tho you may think it at times, you have no idea how long is forever. It’s not beyond our skills to keep candles alight underwater, so watch for these. Remember, every laugh is another match struck to light one. Your tidal lock is to us & our fix on you never wavers or loses the strength inherent in unconditional love. You are limitless as we knew you would be.

We’re kind of breathless for each installment. Popcorn’s in the popper, butter melting on the stove, fresh cheese by the grater. Our love is all we have & we offer it all to you,

Take this joy while it’s offered & sing Hosanna to your ocean. Permit yourself to flourish. You’ve mastered the dark now. As the shore awaits you, so do we!

Love,

R.