Realizations – Riding the Light

I am musing on what we do for life: what we will do for life. On what it means to be a human, to have talents unexpressed, to live a betrayed life where our air is tainted for money, our food the same, our housing untenable, our transport distilled from earthblood. We live where every pleasure has a razor edge of profit scraped from it, profit lining another’s pocket. I see them grinning like the comic long-jawed jester wearing a herringboned cap with two points topped in bells. That simple smile becomes a grin, a rictus, the teeth sharpen to incisors of serrated & saw-toothed ivory.

I feel the jaws close about at times; I am shaken like a dog-toy, by emotions: people suffering hurts me, too; people sick make my hands twitch to reach out & erase pain; bloody bruises weep & mew for salves of crushed herbs, cool & soothing. Howling children grasp empty hands, eyes crusted shut.

We give ourselves to life eagerly, bones bared for chewing through to the marrow. We are walking appetites, voracious & calling aloud for satisfaction. We want. We want. We do not even quite understand, but we want. We whine for love, we are numb with its lack; that longing fills us like music, we choke on it, but we breathe it in with a frisson of eager satisfaction. And even in that tiny satisfaction we are sated, We think we have returned to balance, we sign our names in tears to the contracts we agreed to keep.

I turn, I don again the body almost erased by sorrow, fled of its shadow of grace. I flex my mind, presuming feathers & wings & claws for feet. I wriggle in, & the claws become toes, the feathers skin, the wings bone.

This is what I do for life. This is my fate, my borrow, my bond: the reason I exist, the words I eat for breakfast, leathery bacon & silken eggs, tangy salt. The day remorselessly forms up around me: work & play & movement; air & earth & sky.

I am deboned & then restored.

The morning is music unheard, the sun forming lyrics unsung. A beautiful day emerges from the formless night-dark promise. The day is a purse of riches I may spend or save & jingle with a thought.

My heartbeat is thunder, & if I am still enough, my eyes pulse in its rhythm.

I live. I endure. I am.

I am losing height. I refuse to say “shrinking.” I say, instead that I am “condensing.”

The saying about the teacher appearing when the student is ready & v/v takes on a new depth of character when I impose upon it my idea that an avatar is a teacher. Avatars are icons, a ton of activation lies under one button, one that responds to heat.

A legend exists powerfully around Eagle & Condor. There is much information available & it is an Old Tale carried forward in all cultures on some level or another. Could this be an equivalent logic for the “lion laid down with a lamb” that we see so familiarly?

A teacher is now represented by an icon or a logo, activated by touch. When the teachers determine it is time for learning what can only be pursued under the guise of teaching, they start pushing buttons. My lessons need to continue; now they come by offering to teach. This is the time to build on new glory: not rely on old laurels.

Teachers all. Students all. Who am I to ask for the youniverse to line up just with li’l ole me? Who am I not to do so when I’m assured it IS all about me? Your God & yourself should be at least synonymous, if not twin-headed. Avoid symbiotes here, at all costs. The only worth-ship is Equality. It is said worthship=worthship.

Last Monday, a friend & I drove to Socorro, taking the old road. We stopped at the Bosque del Apache where I beelined to the gift shop & bought bookmarks of beautiful shots taken in the Bird Sanctuary by a worker. Saturday I found a Mexican bobbler, which I believe, a representation of a condor. And something eerie about that white-painted head. Vultures are the clean-up crew. You may not want to know where its head has been.

The energetic environment shifts around me as I do minimal rearrangements of what is already here – acquisition of a black n white lamp triggers a scene including my Unity White Stone Ceremonies. I suddenly “see” the shift & make it so. That this is in preparation for my own shifts, I know.

(A short aside: I picked up a cloth elephant at a yard sale, putting it in my living room. Two days later I realized I had put an elephant in the room…and the day after that, I realized no one had said anything about it. That point made, I gave it to Rain’s granddaughter at the Farmer’s Market yesterday. Now there’s eagle & condor? A language of avatars is coming to age here.

Tag: Realizations

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