Going up the stairs is so different from coming down.
The wolves at the door watched, silent, as I left
Growling as I returned
My stare equal to the threat.
There is a way around this
Yet to be found.
So I enter the waking day through the Door of Dreams
Destinations unknown, glowing in the distance.
If all dreams come to Truth, and all wishes are granted
You will come to love me again, or never quit…
The day for that may choose a future I do not.
I travel towards Heaven by nightlights, kind deeds, by song lyrics.
I smell roses – their scent lighter than air.
I flick through sturdy white promises
Made on different days.
I drive a chariot with blind horses
Whose eyes glow green at night.
I give no order to gallop:
The whip is still, more antenna than goad
A bit of me is still impetuous & unguarded
Shall I free the harness, or leap?
I want you to burst within me like fireworks:
I contain your color, your fantastic shapes, your dragons with emerald eyes.
I want you weak as putty in my arms with barely the strength left to hold me there.
I am the womb that can contain you –
The Stargate you wish to transform into; fluid with mystery.
There are no flaws inside of me where only essence reigns
Where mirrors matter less than a sigh.
Somewhere is a life I lived loving someone
Without giving myself airs; I held a hand; we walked together.
I slow-danced with one man in a tidy room
I offered my face for kisses
As he held me tighter to comply.
Somewhere we ran together into cold ocean
From hot beaches
Laughing at being touched by water
In places we touched by hand
Or planned to.
That somewhere is not my place
That time is not my now.
My choices bring me to Silence
In peace & a kind of purity
I rest my one wild life.