We wore fringe like the Buddhists wear bracelets: we became aware, the world danced around us, the lightest breeze lifting our spirits & our connections. Downward to earth, upward to sky, midline for the horizon. We honored the Directions, we knew when to burn sage, and how much. We sometimes walked through great clouds of it when in Ceremony.
I know all these holy words, trigger words, careful-of-spirit words… like rubbing up against Spirit can be done wrongly. I knew the words for the Iglesia too, didn’t I? I have worshipped in so many places. I have heard the camels crying in the back of the Cantors’ voices.
I have no real idea how I got through to this life; I have been scrambling to find a place for years. And places were found: little nests to nestle in. And then, that hop to the rim, the peeling away from what is behind to the incandescent world ahead. One final look good-bye & I spread my wings for flight.
I am voracious of appetite, appealing of sight, aware out to the ends of the fringe, the sensing antennae probing its own night, calling in the breeze to dance. I am not perhaps the woman I was meant to be (whatever that means) or the woman I wanted to be. But, hey, this one’s interesting. I’ll hang here awhile, put my Spirit-Arms around this one & walk here alongside.
If each generation of Guardian Angel is a future self, I’m all in. You’s are my antennae out into the Cosmos of Order. You each have touched a place I still move toward. I’m getting there, but far too many distractions need to be explored to complete the arrival.
What Gifts I am given!
For most times, this feeling has brought about geographic change: but there is no place other than this one to be in for Now. so I’ve set out journeying compass inward, to other levels. I feel the tiny arrow dancing delicately over my organs. With each tic, I am touching other faces of the person whom I purport to be today, knowing these are filaments, not tethers.
Of course I meet myself coming & going! No wonder I get the tracks mixed up & find myself in the spot I started out from, just in another place. There was only one of me here all this time?
Yes this takes hold once more. How many times have I read about One?
Times like these, I feel I am raking around the edges of the path going awa’. I greet the travelers & offer water to the weary. I am wearing soft shoes. I am not the spiritual countermeasure to my own development any more. I am connecting to the upper just a bit more than ever before.
This move is dimensional. I am systematically unlocking all of the gates. Usually there is ritual with this, & groups entering their energetic support in ceremony. But it’s not me & a memory at play here. If I ask them, they will attend in their hearts, which is our meeting place of ever. In these moments, abbreviated & elongated simultaneously, I must prepare.
Some friends don’t get onto the inner spiral. Some friends loop out & away from where I am called to be. I hear myself, at times, & I can be giggly-appalled at how I’m dealing with situations. But overall, I’m playing another level of sound, light, frequency, vibration of perception. I like what’s over my inner horizon more than the light limning the sunset desert, tho this captures me well.
All of it so beautiful!
I have made a big deal of Spirit – I’ve cloaked it in beads of lucent knowings, I’ve crowned it with my dreams, I’ve set its feet to dancing my music. I thought I was honoring Spirit in these tiny ways…and rightly so. But now I understand that Spirit has been my shadow always with me, always pushing with the same strength I ever pushed. We’ve been In It since the beginning. We will see it through to the end.
We have permission to live forever.