I feel like a great vault is accessible from my inaccessible brain,
Where words abound where language awaits its turn once more
To bring about the glory of change agreeable to all.
Where civility is incontrovertible & of such a nature to be courtly.
There are dozens of realms to be alive on, layers within each
To rely upon
Choose one you want.
Mine? Back to words…I write as I would walk on lily pads
With subliminal terror put aside in favor to trust
The next word sliding out from my pen.
I trust the Process.
Things must sort themselves out.
Instinct does still count.
We wouldn’t be discovering brains in all our major organs,
Trust the plan that is for you.
But examine it for joy first, then for all you wish.
Even wishes that have to shrink down fit you well enough,
If there is joy.
I feel as though I stepped onto the emergency exit from heaven
One long chute yellow-slide-burner-butt
Earth turning as I’m landing
[The timing’s gotta be good here, guys
You’re sure about those landing estimates?]
I am still bouncing!
What, wave goodbye?
Honey, I fell front in a free-fall
My face a rictus of disbelief
A millisecond of what was I thinking?
Thrust into the feistiest game of all,
Human life on Planet Earth!
Could it possibly be all I’d heard in heaven?
Was it worth the waiting, the gamut of Eternity run
To stay even in place to enter this Game.
I must have been bored playing that harp
Sittin’ on that cloud, pointing my toes toward…
But, damn people, the world I wanted to land in
Is coming up fast.
Here it is: my gold ring! The Present.
I wasn’t built for this, all this drama
I engaged it until
My wherewithal went missing.
More Old Man & The Sea than
Moby Dick now.
I was more a board game type
Than paintball any day.
Whether worn-out or “with it”,
I am rebuilding from the inside out
The new me won’t have so far to go
I hope, for her sake –
It’s not inadvertent,
It’s her turn,
We exchange words for wings.
How quickly it left my mind,
Twenty-five years of career
I licked an envelope,
Mailing it off
Now my body can heal,
Now I throw off short-term toxins
With choices born of more time
Of fluid effort.
I recall entering massage as the exploring phase
The please, can I be a healer stage
Vivid, arresting, fascinating in its balanced
Power & purity.
Of course I recognize it: the Ego powers all through!
I see now how final the break is
How past its time to be gone it was
The mantle may settle upon another
(Even my angels wanted out…
I think they at the Casino.)
It’s so huge I just can’t find it anymore.
Carol Borsello 4/23/21