GRAND CENTRAL LIFE
I see now, it’s become a spiral stair.
That was wide open once, everyone together
Rushing up to meet the golden world.
Aglow with their eagerness.
Yet one by one
They moved by me,
They moved around me
As I wandered off to a side.
I wanted to stand still & watch
The people heading by.
Sometimes I’d be joined in a swirl
Of like-thinkers for a while.
We’d connect in a literal 12-step program;
at 13, parting ways.
Most times, tho, I climbed along
An edge, over there, into where.
Not by choice,
But growing weary of departures.
That’s where the spiral stair began.
An idea “you’re better alone, at this point.”
That only fits one at a time.
I was unquestioning.
I notice now the tower around me
That when I emerge, I cross bridges.
My grief is not in my lungs, it’s migrated to my heart,
swollen with sorrows
not even my own.
I am annoyed to have to pay attention.
I am not sickly; my scars are well-earned…
Reminders & I stayed on a good path.
I did well when I remembered to
Search for these with my heart-compass Guide.
She tells me now to let go of it all, to go for the best
Which I can expect since my expectations will fuel nothing less.
I reach again Critical Mass.
When it is time for Ritual, I test a chord in my solar plexus
If it says, “Go fill up.”
I leave the dry sand I’ve been shaping
where it is.
I turn towards outside in degrees
longingly, almost fearful from being In.
One word can set you on a path of looking through
The Window at yourself, instead of staring out.
Now you are in the Ritual world
Where shelter is reversed from your norm
Where you are a little less plugged in all the time
Since it’s so much more meaningful to be unplugged.
I am sifting, seeking whole pieces
Here there is one, a spotted memory for
My back pocket.
Who cares if it’s not mine?
Life can get curious enough, but can
Never satisfy our Curiosity.
AND WHILE WE’RE AT IT
I have overcome fear for long periods of elation
Especially in traveling the road.
I auto-resumed balance
While here, on land, I am off-footed.
I would know my chart
To see if this streaking comet
Of self-worth & reassurance soon arrives:
To know to stand with my arms wide open
I just found prayer is the remote, pushed the button
To jump-start my transformation.
It is begun.
Now I need take my bearings
For the center of me,
The spirit core, the one who knows
Where they keep the wings.
Angels fly because they can?
What’s to stop me then?