Epilogue & Epiphany: Both Sides Now

I stare into the hurricane whose eye will not blink.

Many changes are in the offing (offering) of life. Now is as good a time as any to break open the piggybank of experience & count the coins. I give gratitude for the gifts & guilts of my existence. I have lived through so many changes & approach the imminent & eminent with calm reflection.

Where will I be five days from now? Floating out to sea (to see) or lying cold on a slab, I am ready for any ending & all new beginning in equal measure.

I look at myself & find no fear. I look into myself, finding only incubating change.  Even in the storm, the ocean retains its blue-gray beauty. I am of that same inevitability. I know the bedrock presence of Life no matter what.

The house is as secure as we can make it which means little when Nature focuses to bear down in Category Four force…pushing a wall of wind & water ahead. There is little safety on the surface, but I experience the clarity I traveled so far to find.

Rain pats down its Braille of gentle touch before meeting itself in rising water. Though inland from the beaches, I am exposed on all levels.

My change approaches at bullet train speed. The life cargo remains…yesterday I sealed packets at church – my DNA is in strange places forever.

Shall I write an entry or a eulogy? How many have this opportunity? Words will never dance to anyone else’s music as they have to mine! My uniqueness may be engulfed or overrun, but it will never be replicated.

It is time to ask yet again the meaning of life to manifest. I am proud of what I have accomplished even if my confused little heart has lost the Order of its yuan shen (Prime Directive.) It has ordered me about & I obeyed. I brought life to that which I thought in my own way. I have lived in many rooms where my energy still burns.

I write a farewell of sorts: this experience may be a grand exclamation point whether I go or stay. The universe landed me here at this time. I am lucky to have lived my heartbreaks early so more delight & joy may run before me, scattering rose petals of sublime expectation, of colorful invitation.

Bring me Home. I allow & welcome all revisions to the lifeline. Once upon a time I prayed hard for New Thoughts & now I write the words to bring truth to the request. I unwrap a totally individual Birthday Gift.

I am a light-bringer, a light-bearer. I know my days will never be the same as before. But this is only one timeline among many & I will be remembered with love for each encounter.

I’m ready, now, to blink.

Love,

Carol

7 responses to “Epilogue & Epiphany: Both Sides Now”

  1. May the peace of the Father comfort you and lead you safely through the storm, preparing a way through the melee for your safe destination. Should all around me perish, yet shall I stand, cradled in the arms of peace and love. Charles

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  2. Storms never last, do they, babe?
    Bad times all pass with the winds
    Your hand in mine stills the thunder
    And you make the sun want to shine
    I followed you down so many roads, baby
    I picked wild flowers and sung you soft sad songs
    And every road you took I know your search was for the truth
    And the clouds brewin’ now won’t be the last
    Storms never last, do they, babe?
    Bad times all pass with the winds
    Your hand in mine stills the thunder
    And your love makes the sun want to shine
    Hmm hmm hmm
    Storms never last, do they, babe?
    Bad times all pass with the winds
    Your hand in mine stills the thunder
    And You make the sun want to shine

    Songwriters: Jessi Colter

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    1. gorgeous, Jeff, many thanks!

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  3. Thoughtful Lydia just wrote me an email. So wrapped up in my own retro Mercury little failings that I failed to snap to the fact that the hurricane named Ian I was tracking was your date with destiny that you moved yourself into. My Mother grew up and lived on a farm 5 miles from Gulf Shores in Alabama where you almost moved to. She told me about the storms they lived through.

    I always track those monster storms for some reason, and My heart and prayers, and thoughts go out to those in the paths of those storms that are beyond our comprehensions. Nice to read of your resignations with no underestimations or overstatements.

    Prayers and loving thoughts be with you Carol— and also some selfish thoughts that this is not to be your swan song. As usual , a cliche in mine to your mind’s originals—- What doesn’t kill you Will make you stronger

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  4. Thinking of you, are you ok?❤️🙏❤️
    Lis

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    1. Yes! Our house was bubbled up “safed” & saved ! Our development suffered only minor damage. Thank you for your prayers! Sending love your way –
      Carol

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      1. Glad to hear the good news, Carol. Prayers and blessings for all in the storm’s path.

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