Google Memories

Divesting myself of memories, I delete the photographs.

I will remember that scene, those chili peppers, that field

And if I do not, Google, it seems, will present them as “memories.”

(Why AI should care when I do not is yet to be determined)

Except as in tracing a root to check present growth – who was I if these experiences

Never took place?

The self who took these photos was so different: with earlier dreams,

More flexible ideas, quite a bit more ambition that I now possess.

She knew less or more, I cannot tell. She thought ambition

Was over there…always seeking something

In a new vista or a different meal.

I am mildly amazed at what returns:

A yearning to be elastic in this body & capable of more…

I have been sitting now for years when I used to stand & flex in my work.

(But even those moves were choreographed & unchanging)

My mind needs to be watched for choices about growing

As it seems to have settled into a kind of intellectual hammock

Relaxed & allowing where once it rubbed against disfavor, disinclination, dismissal.

I am dormant, waiting for ideas to present themselves to me

Rather than seeking them willy-nilly.

But who’s to say? This also feels perfect

As did the travel, the ambition, the constancy of change…

What drops away sinks to the bottom

Becoming bedrock I stand upon now.

Becoming a belief I will only need to give way to later, I have found.

Best not to believe, best to react in the immediate, stay open,

Keep showing myself how to show up.

1/5/25