A Year Has Gone By

A YEAR HAS GONE BY

I have given it away

Day by day, doing for self & others

Defining my life by many standards

Discovering myself in words & wishes

Living on music & cheese

& too much sugar

& not enough greens.

A  year of lists & surface planning

Having run plumb out of “life goals”

Comfortable in the Wait Room

Watching the door.

I did not learn Russian

Or take apart a motorboat engine.

I reorganized my bookcase ten thousand times

And finally emptied the nagging under-bed box into the Goodwill bin,

Surrendering old wires & a handheld calculator

Resurrecting tablets & AAA journey maps of the US of A.

A year of letting Life happen, not taking

Real charge in any meaningful way

Of small satisfactions & rearrangements & digging thru the present

As tho it is my past

Which was layered & complex & textured & vivid with days

I paid attention to.

That Great American Novel served piecemeal in blog entries

Perhaps read by others.

I tried theatre & volunteering & these held magic awhile.

I picked things up & put them down someplace else.

I did life in small bites, chewing thoughtfully.

A year of unnoticeable difference

Exploring, aging, serving in small ways

To discover what no longer served me.

There’s coming a time for More Than This

This what-I-have, not what-I-had, nor what-I-will.

Now comes the present of the Future

Finding the more in refining structures & redefining desires

I have every hope of arrival

Once I select a Destination.

Christmas Eve 2025