Believing is Seeing / Seeing is Believing

People listen to my viewpoints with a kind of fascinated disbelief. Their eyes say, “Oh, come on, Carol, you don’t really believe that, do you?”  but what comes out of their mouths is: “Where do you get this information?” This said, with a peculiar emphasis which is almost threatening. I am challenging their belief system, after all.

When I suggest sites for them to  peruse to form their own ideas or opinions, they shake their heads quickly… They want for me to come up with proof of what I consider my proofs. Of course I cannot do that on my own – I’m telling them what’s been shown to me. Just because I have read that big Pharma is the most profitable business on earth, I am suspect. Because I have seen that there is research showing that computers, iPhones, Echos & other such devices are extensions of the Big Brother Spy State, where does this conversation then go if they are unwilling to watch a video about the Georgia Guidestones, or look at Q Anon posts (or their many explications), watch “Snowden,” or somehow begin to assimilate the twenty-plus years of following such info about which I speak.

I can’t possibly introduce them to all of my sources. This matches that they can’t possibly believe what I am saying. I have watched eyes glaze over for far less info-share!

Are their mainstream media sources any more reliable than my conspiracy theory ones? Thing is, how do we tell? Isn’t this the same thought processing that denies harm in the way Monsanto degrades our foods, Naval sonar testing is destroying marine life, pedophilia is being “normalized” as a disorder instead of a sickening aberration of raising children?

I understand many will not share my beliefs. I am not convincing them, nor doing otherwise than introducing the topics for consideration. To dismiss them out of hand is to simply accept that there may be dragons where the maps don’t draw any more lines. There are forces out there which will put paid to disseminating such beliefs as I have read about, thought about & developed a knowledge base around. These forces are actually paid fudge things up.

Me? I’m just your short Italian debt slave who’s had the opportunity to make a more monied lifestyle only now in later years. Even so, I don’t own a house, a car, my furniture or some of my more recently purchased clothing. I dabble occasionally in paying for food with a credit card when I don’t have the cash to stock the larder. While this is unfortunate (possibly unnecessary) & by no means different from how a large number of citizens live today, it’s the paradigm in which I live, move & have my being. And it is only my beliefs that all of this will improve into a possibility over a probability that keeps me on in that joy & peace that passes understanding.

There are those three stages of belief: 1) No way, 2) Well, maybe, 3) Of course!

Where are you?


Don’t Put Your Glasses Down!

Moving Day approaches. Let’s see now, I’ve moved from Nashville to Truth or Consequences (T or C), to Hillsboro, to Ruidoso, to Ocean City, to Berlin, to Fenwick Island, to Hillsboro, all since 2010, & am now returning to T or C. That’s a LOT of boxes to tape.

I’ve given away stuff I’m now re-buying. I’ve invested, divested, shared, thrifted, lost, found…countless items. I have no idea why we need so much stuff, and, believe me, I have much less stuff than most people I know.

Some basic Laws of Moving I have learned:

  • always buy the heavier duty tape – this is not a time to go for cheaper pricing
  • don’t run out of tape – more than you need is just enough
  • note where you put down your glasses every time you take them off
  • ditto on the car keys
  • keep track of friends, b/c they’re generally going out of town on move day
  • always use good body mechanics
  • don’t attempt to move without a strong back
  • tape EVERYTHING you possibly can
  • when pulling boxes out of the trash, make sure they  have bottoms
  • keep in mind Newton’s second principle: two items cannot occupy the same space at the same time
  • this is a good time to consider an investment in robot tech

I’m sure there are a bunch more I could come up with, maybe something relating to gravity, inertia, stress factors concerning cardboard, how much you really want/need an item, and more. But I’m pretty certain you’ve learned them all through moving yourself. And if you’re one of those unusual folk who’ve stayed put for anything over twenty years, I have only a large well of empathy to tap on your behalf should this time ever come to your door.

Desperation sharpens the memory, but only in the desperate individual. My landlord said call him the day before to confirm the move; my hired helper said call him the day before to confirm the time to be here which I’ve just called & told him; the fella I’m buying the replacement (of the identical computer desk I gave away three years ago) said call him pre-move to remind him I’m coming to pick it up. Do men not come equipped with memories?

Reminds me of the story about the husband who, noticing he can’t sign on, calls out to his wife in the kitchen, “Honey, did you change the password?” To which she replies in her sweetest voice, “Yes, I did! It’s our anniversary date.”

My new place is a duplex, with a second floor & two bedrooms. It’s a real WOW after living with roommates, in motel rooms, in efficiencies – all of which have sprung furniture, with at least one chair where the seat can sink into the floor, with questionable mattresses & extra-cold kitchens. Where I am now, the drier is in the garage, a chill walk from the back swinging doors (which only open if you go through them with approximately the force of a battering ram in the hands of an invading, woad-painted army.) It is always interesting to see how other people live. But for at least a year of the lease, I can live with a view of the Caballo Mountains, topped by Turtleback, with a washer/dryer off the kitchen, a bath and a half plus a small graveled yard for outdoors living when the weather brings surcease instead of subzero.

I guess it just isn’t my gift in later life to stay in one place for long. I guess I’m still searching for the spot where I can stay for twenty years, after which they can just open a hole under the living room floor & bury me. No need for ceremony. Matter of fact, this new place was built atop a lube shop, so there’s already a nice big hole under there, tho the hydraulic lift is most likely gone. But that’s okay. Far more comfy than what I’m always telling people – “just toss me down the nearest elevator shaft.”

Wish me strength & fortitude, strong hands & good eyes. While you’re at it, wish me the ability to hammer in a straight nail as most of my pictures hang at a slight angle, like an earth tremor crossed under the floor before dawn. Wish me up a lot of energy over the next week. But I usually have the place together within 48 hours because after living in a roomful of boxes with a Libra’s keen sense for disorder as pain, it will be total pleasure to have my few things arrayed just how I want them.

With all the homelessness out there (I tell people to get to the Walmart they just make a left after the second panhandler up the road.) No disrespect here, just practical directions, really. (Once, passing through Nashville, I gave a woman in a wheelchair a bill as she sat on the corner in a steady rain. She peered into my car & asked sympathetically if I was living in it.)

One thing more: I would move forever if it meant more stories like these. Life isn’t static, but rotting out is exactly that. Each place gives me gifts of light, love, laughter, the chance to meet new people & hug old friends.

Enough sitting now. The boxes are starting to whisper again…


Musings of a Part-Time Philosopher


Why not evolve in Order, as ordered by our own inner guidance? Well, hey, I think our inner guidance was turned down in volume to inaudibility by the blare of this beautiful three-dimensional world we live in.

When the mute button was [inevitably] pushed, we were already turned toward the excitement of martial drums, & then War became the go-to lifestyle: existence as a mortal is so easily threatened, survival is a real thrill. Why else would murder, death, & destruction be so popular … smeared across all our entertainment? I can think of nothing more repulsive!

I find my life skills have centered around developing the abilities involved with  polishing relationships, turning negative emotions around & offering my life energy to others in a healthy manner.

But it became human’s nature to find life somehow more exciting as victim/victimizer. This took the focus into more basic directions (louder) in lieu of subtle spirituality (still small voices.) I know from even my morning walks that downhill is easier & can be far more electrifying than the slog up. When you read “lowest common denominator,” it can mean damned low right now. There’s a double-speak about striving for what I call “bigger/better/faster/more” wherein this is presented as what we should be doing, while all about us seems resolute in pushing us down & holding us there. Why are we so surprised to emerge into chaos from whence some say we sprang? It’s a slippery slope to navigate.

I’m not perfectly in tune with Spirit. I sometimes can’t get the channel to come in clearly. I sometimes don’t even trust what comes to me – too much interference for clarity. But I trust Silence. I trust my intestinal prayers to get me wherever Spirit wants me to be, while my heart seems to short-circuit over the Daily News. Shooting my way out possesses not the slightest appeal.

When I trek uphill, there’s a lovely mirror image that appears of traveling back down – to breakfast & a shower & taking off my sports bra.

If we look at our own aspirations, these mirrors of opposites seem to immediately clang into place. “I can” becomes “what if” in a blink. Ideas & manifestations are often at odds because of the mettle it takes to persevere & break through false images. We may not have enough experience in success to power up our belief in it. Going with the flow doesn’t necessarily riding along in someone else’s canoe.

So, where’s your personal Red Zone? What rings your chimes? If it isn’t the Divine which brings you to your knees, it will most likely be the cudgel held by a barbarian.

I think “religion” is a tool of control far more effective than chains. I know a local woman who puts everything in/on God through her Jesus & I consider this as much of an addiction & a power giveaway as smoking crack. Jesus looked to heaven & asked for help any number of times. While we can ask for help from anyone on the other side, it is up to us to generate the belief that help is available. It is up to us to realize we are made from a Prime Creator of love. And PC expects way more than what we’ve set up so far.

We can believe in the ladder appearing at the bottom of our personal well, but we must swim to it climb out, to be uplifted. I have chosen to leave religion out as an entrainment for my mind-heart. But I sure put a ton of truck into Spirituality! And though I take advice from many, I prefer my own orientation towards the improvement I’m asking about.

I’m still a spiritual Innocent, watching for insight everywhere, hyper-aware of its existence & my quest to find personal truth includes only that next best thought. I hardly look over my shoulder to see where I’m from. If there’s a mess, I’m responsible for at least 50% of it. I have learned I cannot clean it all up if it was made with someone else’s contributions. But once I have my part scoured, it is easier to send love to what’s out of my direct control or response & know that’s a healing of sorts.

“I create my own reality” say the reality buffs. I go for that 50-50 interpretation here. Because if the portion I am ignorant of creating is karmic or MK-Ultra’d, I don’t have enough comprehension to clear up the rest. That’s when I reach into the toolkit for the Trust hammer, the Faith screwdriver & the Love drill to just do the best I can.

I’ve overstayed my welcome in the antechamber of assumption. I admit the right to life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness. I am hopeful of a good grounding in “do no harm” as a life motto. I don’t leave the bags of dog dirt (so carefully scooped up) on the crossing from the beach. Just because shit happens doesn’t make it decorative.

Here’s the mystery, wrapped in an enigma, sprinkled over with conundrum & fired in the kiln of “mass consciousness”: Here’s where I separate the red & blue pills for a choice to live in the reality I am aware of having created as opposed to happenstance.

So to what do I owe allegiance? Where do I fall when the line is between service & servitude?

Humans are far too adept at adapting. We see the results of following only, when we ought to be living leaders of our hearts & minds. We ought to be spiritual adepts, en-spirited adults by this time. Ok, that sounds like a great destination.



I’m off. See you later, amigos/amigas.

With love,

ALL MY RELATIONS (Mitakuye Oyasin)

Tell me something, have you ever looked around at your family and taken it one step further to feel like you don’t even belong on this planet?

Well, you’re not alone.  So don’t get all comfortable in your misery here. I am here to help you to understand: you ain’t alone, baby. In fact, you are part of every living thing on earth … the world and everything in it is related to you.

I didn’t feel much like I “belonged” to my family. I have one powerful childhood memory that I dash around the corner every chance I got, where I’d sneak in behind a low bush and wait for my tribal family to come and get me. I envisioned them riding up in feathers and robes, leading a spare pony just for me. I always wore a piece of clothesline tied tightly around my waist. This wasn’t usually a problem, except the days I was in crinolines for dress-up & the parental unit would get cranky about having just ironed the dress… then things got a little Italian around the house.

So many of us feel estranged from our immediate family and it’s popular to say “your friends are your family” or, as I’ve seen it recently: “God gave us friends to make up for our relatives.” But time has proved to me that Desmond Tutu put it well when he said, “You don’t choose your family, They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.”

After being on Starship Earth for a while, we begin to see there are common threads that bind us all together. Our foods are different, our languages, our clothing…but that’s all detail. Basically, the same emotions apply: Who doesn’t want material success with a place to live well & in good health? Who turns away from good luck, plenty of money? Who doesn’t complain about their politicians or the rebelliousness of their youth?

In my online world, I keep seeing the phrase “Unity Consciousness” to denote this common thread of thought. We want fairness to prevail, we want to be safe in public places, we want our taxes to make a noticeable difference for PEACE in the world.

The continents may be drifting apart, but the regular people on them are uniting together insofar as their thinking less of war and more of peace.

The original title of Charles Darwin’s 1859 bestseller was On The Origin of Species By Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favored Races in the Struggle for Life.  Its primary topic was the scientific theory that populations evolve over generations through natural selection. This was not acceptable to the Church of England which felt species were unchanging parts of a designed hierarchy and that humans were unique, unrelated to other animals and, unfortunately, many times to other humans. While Darwin says ‘survival of the fittest’ twice in that book he uses the word “love” 95 times. I’d say that’s a terrific basis for a theory of evolution and one which is proving out!

He wrote:  “Let it be borne in mind how infinitely close-fitting are the mutual relations of all organic beings to each other.”

He also spoke of inter-species cooperation. If you think about it, our pets today prove that out. And not too many years ago we all lived with animals; if you kept chickens you got to have an egg hunt daily. If you wanted to go anywhere off the property, you saddled up the horse or hitched up the buggy. Our wake-up call was cattle lowing in the barn to be milked. We looked to our four-legs as co-workers, as guardians, as helpers and even as our mental health professionals as they’d listen to a lot more than we could tell anyone else… One life supported another, just as one life fed another.

Species cooperate in the wild pretty readily: In the southwest, pronghorn antelope regularly grab sage with their teeth to tear off leaves for lunch. When this happens, the sage sends out a chemical signal which triggers the tobacco plant next to it. The tobacco plant then breathes out – and it emits an odor that the antelope don’t like. In protecting itself, the tobacco plant is also protecting the sage. With such a beautiful and complex dance of life, it behooves you not to declare for your limitations by focusing only on the box step. Think your way out of that particular construction, pretty please!

Where does life come from? Is it just conception and procreation that brings in new living beings? In the early 1900’s, many experiments were done in Russia which proved out that life can arise from nonlife, and the cooperation of life with life is ever ongoing. Gurvisch was one scientist who was intrigued by plants growing upward no matter what. He theorized that there is a “life force” which was  undeniable, and enormously powerful. He saw plants growing even through concrete so he decided this life force came out of the TOP of the plant. He experimented with onions. He pointed the top of one onion top at the side of another, while running a low electrical current through them both. He was amazed and gratified to have his theory proved out when the onion being pointed at started to grow a big bump in response to the pointing onion. This gives me hope we can get to the life-level of onions. That we can point to one another, send the electrical current of our thoughts and the higher-voltage current of our prayers, at each other and create new life.

In the 70’s, I read a book called The Secret Life of Plants by Peter Tompkins and Chris Bird. You may have heard of it? Some of the book is based on the research of a man named Cleve Backster who was an interrogation specialist for the CIA. On a day at the lab when he didn’t have enough to do, he hooked up the polygraph to a dracaena plant. Amazingly, the plant registered on the polygraph with a spike on the readout tape. So he started talking to the plant. He began a kind of whole earth movement toward “biocommunication” – play music for the plants, tell your plants you love them and then stand back & watch ‘em grow!

Tompkins & Bird took Backster’s data a little farther and hooked up houseplants to an oscilloscope. Later, they proved that if you gave a plant a way to generate an electrical current, it would open your garage door for you when you got home.

You’ve probably heard about the researchers who set up cameras to find out what pets do at home all day. What they discovered was that when the owner THOUGHT about heading home, their dog went to sit at the door to wait. (Cats, however, headed for their food dishes.)

In 2000, Professor Pacheco (a neurobiologist) heated beach sand to luminescence, killing all lifeforms that might have existed in it. He poured this sand into a test tube partially filled with distilled water. He sealed the tube & autoclaved the test tube as a double measure of killing off anything alive in it. He placed this sterile test tube next to one with DNA in it, ran a low, 7 Hz current through them both – that same 7.3 Hz current Gurvisch ran on the onions. After 24 hours, a thin layer had appeared on top of the so-called “sterile” beach sand water – and the scum was filled with DNA! There are other experiments on the books as well, primarily out of Russia, which have also shown a case for this. It’s called “spontaneous generation.”  And Pacheco was replicating prior experiments. He wasn’t the first to do this.

I claim firsthand experience with spontaneous generation when the last banana in the basket births an entire cloud of flying dots which seem eager to be inhaled, for some reason. There are a number of experiments which proved life generates from non-life, they just didn’t agree with the mainstream belief system – remember the Church of England blinders? Power structures don’t like challenges.

Nature’s SO not stupid. The bacteria that form spontaneously in nuclear reactors eat radiation. Microbes form where they are needed. There are microbes in 99.9% of all space dust. What does that mean? It means what we have supposed is cold, empty, dead space is alive with potential.

We stand on one rung of the evolutionary ladder. We like to think it’s the top rung. I’m not sure it is. When I see the poetry of a horse running through a field, or the fabulous understanding of a service dog in the pediatric ward of a hospital, or even a flock of starlings wheeling in some grand ballet against sunset sky – I have to pray we can achieve this kind of Unity Consciousness. If you think world peace is a challenge, try getting people to agree on the channel to have on at the Laundromat!

Kinesiology (muscle testing) can show us that thinking a negative thought about someone weakens them. Even something as simple as, “I don’t like those shoes!”  Even when that person doesn’t know about the thought. If negative thoughts disperse energy, guess what the positive thoughts do? There’s a reason the Pope waves his hands towards him…and the Dalai Lama waves them away, redirecting that appreciative energy back to his audience.

I don’t think Mother/Father God made us and then wandered off. I think when we found out just how powerful we were, we shooed them off, saying “We wanna do this ourselves now! You can go.” But it’s now time to invite the divine back into our lives and recognize each other’s divinity. Recapture that unqualified recognition that a loving parent has for even the most stubborn child. In order to do that, we need to acknowledge ourselves, each other, our beautiful world, from the vast ocean whispering a lovesong with every wave, to the smallest junco whistling a little song before grabbing up a seed on our patio. We need to start hearing the beauty of the world, tasting the glowing colors our eyes see, speaking to others the words we would ourselves love to hear someone say to us.

It is up to our generation to start. Somebody has to be the first to beat that sword into a ploughshare, after all. There’s a reason we are called to speak living words.

I have every faith we can shift the entire world once we acknowledge our relationship with its every aspect.

Feel free to test the world’s relationship with you. I took a two-mile hike once in a forest. About the time I ran out of energy I also ran out of trail markers. I stopped to figure things out. And because I trust the world is looking out for me, I looked up and told God “I need a sign here.” Two seconds later the tiniest yellow moth wobbled by, going left. I said, “Thanks!” and turned left. The parking lot was fifty feet away. Let the world show you, let it be your active ally, not just scenery out there. Trust your perceptions!

The world is here to heal you. Won’t you return the favor? If you think about your relationships with your family and feel they may not be either friends or well-wishers…don’t give in or give up; simply reach for a good thought, even if the best you can muster wouldn’t win any Nobel Peace Prizes.

The beautiful name for an intelligent cosmos which constantly adapts to life is “Auto poetic.” The truth we have been taught about life only being available through evolution-based reproduction, or some random mutation effect is only a small part of the information available now.  Be vigilant for your world. Pay attention so that your ears are the first to hear God’s message through the world directed to you, and your heart to be the first to perceive its wholeness.

Unfoldment – A Unity Talk

‘A time will come when your innermost voice will speak to you, saying ‘This is my path, here I shall find peace, I will pursue this path, come what may’ If you will persist and are patient, and above all never lose faith, your path will lead you unerringly to your goal’

~ White Eagle

My Mom worked nights a lot when I was growing up. My brother and I would make prank phone calls when she was out of the house during some of those evenings. I don’t feel that old, but this was the era after party lines and before caller ID when one could get away with such things. Anyone here remember those days when telephones all rolled thru Ma Bell, looked like a prop in THE MATRIX movies, only came in black & sat on that little telephone table in the corner of the living room where nothing else but a pole lamp would fit? They had short wires, so you had to sit like you were at your desk in Catholic school, dial the number and wait for an answer. And somebody was always home at night, yea?

So me n Joey would open the phone book for a local number. We’d point to a name and one of us would dial – yes, DIAL – a number, listening for that answering voice. We’d already be giggling and shushing each other – this needed quiet to pull off rightly.

“Hello?” would come the nice voice from thru the receiver. In his best and deepest voice, Joey would ask quite seriously, “Is your refrigerator running?” When the puzzled reply came back, “Well, yes, as a matter of fact it is…” he’d deliver the punch line: “Don’t you think you oughtta go catch it?” (Now this was the time when TV was still live, comics never said a bad word, and Ed Sullivan ruled) So I can only apologize for the vast humor we found in such stupid tricks… The next night we might call the same number to ask: “Does your nose run? Do your feet smell?” Sometimes we’d get a squawked “who IS this?” but most of the time we’d get a straight reply. If the poor innocent answered yes, we hollered out together: “You were built upside down!” before snorting with laughter and banging the phone receiver down.

Aren’t you glad the world has changed so much? Aren’t you glad I have changed so much? Or have I? My jokes have gotten so much better, but that’s because I take notes on others’

For all our technology, it is still not that hard to take someone’s day apart. It’s just harder to do it anonymously. At the center where we live our truest life as spiritual beings, we are very tender creatures. We need to handle each other with care. We need to handle ourselves with care. But often as we unfold, we rip off the beautiful petals we grow to litter the battlefields where we fight.

All the words spoken on this platform here at our little Unity are about love, no matter what the topic for a Sunday may be. As Unitics, we just don’t muck around in judgment and defamation. Our God is more internalized, less “out-there’ish” Our God doesn’t have to anoint us with oils, for we are ourselves the beautiful essential oils perfuming heaven itself. Our good deeds, our helpful natures, our firm reaction of love in the face of fear all feed the loop that runs from our inner Godself to those of our relationships. Animals, gardens, foods, heaven & earth & especially our bright loving souls form the firmament of a heaven we dream of so seriously. Our conception & hopefully, our perception, of God are not the exclusive of master/subject in either direction. Rather it is the co-creative, procreative, energetic presence of God which infuses our lives with laughter, goodwill, thanksgiving, health & togetherness. If we say, all for one, we mean God at our center. If we say one for all, we mean God at our center. Every day we discover the God in our lives to be closer than we ever thought, deeper than we could ever know, more loving than all the great hero stories we’ve heard. And we love our hero stories, no?

My worst-case scenario is guilt. Hey! I come by it honestly. I was raised a Catholic and my first mother-in-law was Jewish. One day I woke up to a great way to externalize my inward mental yelling at myself. I had asked for a way to neutralize that little drone-voiced, green-shaded accountant in there going, “Uh huh, now you’ve done it!” Whatever “it” was.

I figured out that just about all the people who had yelled at me in my life pointed a finger at me first. So when I yelled at myself, I pointed at myself. Well, this was much like the old jokes I used to pull. It was too funny not to laugh aloud at. So I pretty much overcame yelling at myself for stuff. One of my husbands used to get SO MAD at me because I never apologized. I had read in some book early on that I AM are the God-words, so to say “I am sorry” was giving up in a peculiarly wrenching way. He got over it after the divorce.

Recently a modern-day philosopher I follow, Neil Kramer, said, “We live in a hit and run society.” I found that particularly descriptive. But after years of observing this development, I have also brought about a change in myself and how I play the blame game. I call it “unfoldment.”

Think about it: Your life is all about unfolding. If you watch an infant sleeping, they unfold with every breath. Children unfold almost explosively – they can go from zero to sixty in five seconds. They unfold in the light of a loving parent’s eyes. We grow in the light of a loving Creator who looks deeply, expressively, into our eyes each time we see a relative, a friend, a four-leg, or even a leaf opening on our favorite plant or tree. I watch trees all the time. Delaware is the greenest state I’ve ever been in with lots of open space where green grows. Daily, I drive past fields which are unfolding in a panoply of colors. Daily, I marvel at the face they show me that day. Our magnificent ocean is always unfolding, isn’t it? We call this unfolding “waves.” Each time you go to the beach, there is that moment of kinetic growth – the wave crests – when all unfolds into surrender on the beach. So we, too, rise on currents of lovingkindness to bathe another in our sheer-light beauty – one human unfolding to another.

We keep ourselves from spiritual stagnation – another phrase of Kramer’s – when we do that which is ours to do. Like the lotus growing in a water meadow, the petals of our sacred consciousness unfold. Hindu how-to books will tell you the crown chakra, the spirit connection to higher states of consciousness in the universe consists of a lotus with ten thousand petals. Ten thousand! Do you think that might require some unfolding?

The acorn is assuredly not an oak tree, but it will be when it finishes unfolding. Our DNA unfolds us as surely as our Yoga teacher tries to. Whether we wish to unfold or not, whether we want to or not…the saving grace is to bring humor into it because a laugh will save us faster than anything else.

Unfolding is seen as a guerrilla tactic by the ego which wants everything to stay just the same so it can tell you you’re boring, unbeautiful and ten thousand other untrue things. At this age, ego & I arm-wrestle every day. That’s how I got this crooked elbow, y’see? It’s been hard! But I won every time I got a giggle going and since I’m the easiest person to laugh at I know, it’s been a little less taxing for me along the way, I think.  Ego is so perfect, it wants to run in place. While only showing the good profile side. We get exercised, but we don’t get any new scenery in the viewfinder. Allowing ego to call the shots is like putting an Evinrude in the bathtub. The agitation gives some cheap thrills, but you really don’t get anywhere. Ego serves a purpose, but “serves” is the keyword in that sentence. Ego is the servant of your spirit. If we can keep our ego out of the driver’s seat, we hold the space for our heart to steer the way.

How will you encourage your heart and soul to unfold? What can you do to make it so? What will make you feel bigger, better, faster, more? We all have a personal candle lit inside of us. There’s an old saying that a candle loses nothing when it lights another. Don’t wait for a stroke of lightning to enlighten you. Pick up your journey-staff and walk out to the road to meet the world.

Try it. DO it. Allow yourself to simply unfold into Who You Really Are. It’s just beautiful!



Talking to Myself

I think I talked to myself constantly as a child, discussing the weather, listing my possessions, reading aloud to hear the story, too. I recall it being a reassuring commentary, full of exclamation points. It was sometimes a litany of guilts to bring to Confession. (No life lives without sin, the Church assured me frequently.) I rehearsed what I’d say to my Mom when I was late getting home. I muttered impressions of innocent passers-by. I used curse words spoken under my breath upon those who stepped in front of my bicycle just as I was getting to speed. I implored saints, angels, God & Mary to help relieve whatever powerlessness currently being experienced…

When sent to my room, I breathed imprecations at life’s unfairness.

Fortunately, now a so-called adult – ahem – senior citizen, I consider aloud all the reasons why I left my shopping list at home while searching the food aisles.

Sometimes people stare sidelong at me when I whisper an emphatic “Yes!” upon recalling some item. But I hear them reading the cereal names out loud while pushing their carts up ahead.

I’m sure I’m on tape everywhere, mouth moving, reciting something or other or laughing at an internal joke.

My morning coffee brings on a lively discussion of the day with the steam rising from the cup. I find nomenclature a great source of satisfaction: enjoying the bright weedy wildflowers out loud as I walk, croaking back to crows, commenting on shapes of clouds. I ask my feet to be careful walking over cattle guards (which mildly freak me out to walk across.) I greet the stone angels as I pass the cemetery.

Oh, Lord. If you’re going to send the guys in white coats, make sure they’re packing a size Large net, ok?

My roommate laughs when she hears me walking to the kitchen “aloud.”

I talk back to the hungry cat, tell the howler next door to “just shut up, will ya?” I sound out my life under cottonwoods while above, the turkey vultures spread their papery wings for takeoff.

Attempts to curb this enthusiasm seem doomed to end unsuccessfully. I’m recorded on every government listening post with some ongoing life commentary. I know the trolls with their headphones are yawning when they hear the tapes. It doesn’t get much more ordinary than me, after all.

Last Friday, I was an hour early for my Yoga class, forgetting the schedule had shifted. When I arrived back home, walking in the door announcing, “I’m home!” to my roomie, I heard her talking away to herself in the shower: “Ow! It’s cold! It’s really cold. OMG, the weather’s changing so fast…”

I rest my case, ladies & gentlemen. Nothing to hear, here, just keep moving along, please.