Wellness is my right: completion is my goal. Up until very recently, my life was girded by the need to consider others’ lives. I understood rules & restrictions, yet yearned for the freedom to once more make my own decisions free from considerations for others.

This might be called selfishness; is it such to desire my music around me when I wake & sometimes when I sleep? To decorate as I please according to my whimsy & ideals?

I longed for the freedom I had in New Mexico – my spacious apartment – my big kitchen – my upstairs rooms, private & quiet. Now I am living this on a miniaturized scale, a compressed life where there is still opportunity for great expansion.

The changes are swifter & sharper. What were revelations have grown into habits that insist on more learning & practice.

In Florida, few thought like me. I was bursting with hoarded thoughts & stockpiled speeches. I sought acceptance & community of thought, response, attitude.

Work was more constrictive than constructive. I didn’t mind so much answering to the many so long as I was able to interpret & identify with them. Their filters & mine were so different! Theirs would not change, tho mine were compelled to.

My power comes in being myself in an expanding Reality. My sense of personal power outgrew boundaries & my efforts to squelch into their viewpoints proved exhausting. I slept a lot.

Now I feel traveled from constricted to constructive, even without 50 restaurants to choose from tonight. This is the place my thinking can expand to the sky, the place where rivers are dry, so I need to create my own landboats to carry me away.

What grows in me now is more full than it was before. this feeling, knowing, has visited me but turned from my door, unwilling to force my beliefs or engage with my diminished vitality.

In truth, I was not ready. This me is ready for change & I pray for the strength of an ideal to lean upon, to lead me through any perception of restrictions.

My life is back: my colors, my comforts, my habits, I have overcome many rigors. In truth, it is not even about where I do from here. It’s just about here itself.